I learned this morning that the wife of a friend took her own life on Monday. I stopped in to see him this morning. He's doing about as well as I was two days after my own wife died. About all I could do was sit and listen, and let him know that it will get better over time.
I feel bad for him, mostly because I know what lies ahead. My own wife died just a couple of months shy of our 20th anniversary six years ago. Sometimes six years feels like a long time, and sometimes - such as today - it feels like it were only yesterday. I've gone through a lot of changes these past few years, and "J" will be going through his changes in the years to come.
I don't think I want to dwell on it much. J and I visited for an hour or so. About all I could say is "Don't beat yourself up over it - it was her choice, not yours." and "Take your own time, you'll sort it all out eventually."
I don't know that I was able to be of much help, but he has my phone numbers and permission to call anytime night or day. For the next month or so he'll likely be kept busy by friends and family stopping by, phoning or otherwise helping to keep him occupied. Life moves on for us all, and then, when the friends and family resume their own routines, the lonliness hits. That's when I most expect to hear from him.
Speaking of the lonliness, I think I'm going to head over to the lodge for supper. I'll let Jon do the cooking, Abbie (or maybe it's Jane tonight) can serve me a beer and there will certainly be some good conversation to occupy my mind for a while. It's time for me to be a bit "social".